My word

My word this year will be moderation, the definition sums up exactly what I mean.

(the quality of being moderate; restraint; avoidance of extremes or excesses; temperance)

During my years of dieting when I was good I was very good and when I wasn't I was terrible, a real feast or famine mentality and even now, once I have something I shouldn't have I really struggle to not stuff my face with rubbish for the rest of the day/week/month.

So moderation is going to be the way forward for me, not just with regard to my weight, also in regard to money, I spend an enormous amount of money every month and I'm not entirely sure what it goes on, I'm always buying food but we never seem to have the stuff for proper meals which means that I go back to the supermarket and buy more stuff and end up throwing half of it away. So I'm going to meal plan and buy only what I need. I have also withdrawn cash for groceries and spending money for the month to make myself more aware of what I spend.

Scale was good this morning, 14st 11lbs (207 lbs) 1 pound over my lowest. 46 pounds lost, 14 more to go to meet my band anniversary goal.

Mrs Lisa C asked what fish pie was, I assumed that everyone had fish pie! Its basically white fish in a sauce with mashed potato, you can make it with any fish or seafood, I don't actually make it myself, I buy it ready made. I like it and its quite easy to get down.

Have done ok so far today, my kids are mad about drop scone/pancakes at the moment so I've made them a batch for lunch and just had a tiny taste, I have a chicken breast in the oven. As part of my grocery shopping plan I went to the butchers today which I don't normally do and bought some chicken and turkey, the chicken breast are enormous, much bigger than from the super market and much cheaper, not sure that I'll manage more than half.

Breakfast was 2 slices of toast with laughing cow light 250 cals 10g protein

cheeky pancake taste 50 cals 0

an enormous chicken breast with a little blue cheese 400 cals 50g protein

with 150g's of raw yellow pepper 40 cals 0

Hope to carry on the day like this, am going to try and get the kids out for a bike ride (them not me) later, we're going stir crazy all being stuck in here together.

Happy new year! Hope that everyone has a lovely evening.

Food

Probably not going to do this that often as writing it is dull, reading is must be dreadful!

Thanks for the green vegetables advice, I find that veggies really fill me up so I don't eat much, I realise how ridiculous that statement is! It never really dawned on me, I don't know how I would function without you guys to prod me!

Toast and peanut butter 300 cals 10g protein

tiny home made pancake 100 cals 2 protein

chicken breast stuffed with blue cheese 300 cals 40g protein

fish pie and broccoli 200 cals 10g protein

protein bar 200 cals 20g protein

milk, laughing cow light 200 cals 15g protein

Am quite pleased with that, I ate less than half of my fish pie as the broccoli was so filling, I'm still astounded by my stupidity. Chicken breast stuffed with a little Danish blue cheese was amazing, will have that again with some veggies on the side!

Being able to eat toast is a recent thing, it has to be well toasted and I have to be careful but I can do it, I'm really glad as its so easy, the bread I use has 3.5g of protein per slice I noticed today, stupid things make me happy, think that its the lack of sleep!

Thanks lovelies.

Very long post, proceed with caution

Morning lovelies,

There isn't much sleeping going on here, I'm even waking before the kids, awful. Without sleep I am a horrible horrible cow, best avoided really.

I think that I'm worried about Isobel's birthday party (on 23rd of January as too much going on at Christmas) I had a dream the other day that whilst the party was going on I was running around trying to buy a cake as I had forgotten to get one.

So I got up at 5am and have ordered books for the party bags, individual cake boxes for the cup cakes, lollies for the magic lollipop tree and have enquired about the invitations, hopefully this will calm me down and enable me to sleep. I've already booked the hall and the dj/entertainer, just need to sort out the table stuff, table cloth, plates and serving platters and then what food I am going to make.

I've probably mentioned before that her school friends parties have been in the main extravaganza's! I feel the need to try and keep up and I hate myself for it!

Managed to keep on the straight and narrow yesterday, don't normally write it down but if I do maybe it will make me think twice if I have to write it down?

toast and laughing cow light for breakfast 250 cals 6g protein

turkey chilli for lunch 300 cals 20g protein

protein bar snack 200 cals 20g protein

2 laughing cow light triangle snack 40 cals 6g protein

scallops and peas for dinner 200 cals 7g protein

protein bar snack 200 cals 20g protein

Scale was great this morning, 14st 12lbs, (208 lbs) this is 2 above my lowest, am going to do my best to get back there. Total loss of 45 pounds, am going to have lost 60 for my band anniversary on the 25th of March, so that's another 15 pounds to loose in just under 3 months, so doable if I just get on with it. My mini goal is 13st 11lbs which will be 60 pounds down.

George starts at another pre-school next Thursday, I loved his old school but it was just too far away (when we enrolled him we were planning to move house, this is unlikely to happen now) so he is moving to a preschool which is closer and attached to the school he will attend. He will be doing 4 mornings a week so this gives me more time for me, I should be able to get to the gym 4 days a week without a problem and this should really help my weight loss.

I tried to give blood on Boxing day but was turned away again as my iron levels are too low. They were even lower this time than last time and they're probably going to ban me from donating for a few months. Not sure how to address this, I do have a list of foods that help, they've also suggested that I drink orange juice whilst eating as this aids the absorbtion of iron, I hate orange juice and I try not to drink whilst eating.

Has anyone else had this problem?

I take a multi vitamin, I don't really want to take iron tablets if I can really help it.

Enough moaning for me today, have a lovely day all xx

I breeched it.

The scale said 15st today, I've just been eating so much rubbish, most of the chocolate is gone now, I'm going to get back to normal from today.

Nothing very exciting happening here today, have been trying to sort out the house now we have 2 tonnes of extra plastic rubbish in it! We have moved George in to a larger bedroom to try and house some of the stuff! I need to sort through Izzy's room and the playroom, there is so much stuff that they don't use. Isobel has started to get very attached to every soft toy she lays her eyes on, even ones that have not been looked at for a couple of years, I'm going to have to do this when she's not here.

We went out for dinner last night for Isobel's birthday meal which got cancelled because of the snow, she loved it and behaved really well, George was a pain! We have ongoing toileting issues and that was most of the problem, I'm so over toilet training just now! I was really good, had a chicken salad and ate all of the chicken and a little salad, had pancakes and ice cream for dessert (I know!) but actually it wasn't very good so I had a little ice cream and left the rest. Why then did I come home and eat loads of chocolates?

Anyway, today is another day! Happy Wednesday everyone!

Chocolate poisoning?

Hope that everyone has had a fantastic holiday.

We've had a fantastic time and were all thoroughly spoilt. I now have to find room for all the kids new toys! Think that we're going to move George in to a larger bedroom tomorrow and use it as an opportunity to get rid of some stuff.

My lovely husband bought me an iPhone, I have been after one for ages and Paul and I had many discussions about it, I have a mobile phone, a laptop and and iTouch, why did I need a iPhone, the answer is that I didn't need one, I wanted one. I almost upgraded to one a couple of weeks ago, but for some reason changed my mind at the last minute, as it happens this was the same day that Paul bought the phone, somehow I must have known!

I got lots of other bits and bobs, nail polish, 2 scarves, clarins skin care, an iPod docking station and some Joules wellies. My little brother also bought us a big box of chocolates! a huge box! I'm ashamed to admit that there aren't many left. I've eaten far too much.

My Christmas goal was always to stay below 15 stone (210 lbs) today I was 14st 13 lbs (209 lbs) my gym has closed for most of the holiday which is rubbish really but its cheap. We did go on a long walk with the kids so I could try out my wellies!

Off to catch up with your blogs, hope that everyone is well and happy.

Christmas eve musings

Thank you to everyone for your comments and support over the last 10 months, it will be my 9 month anniversary tomorrow! I have lost 46 pounds since being banded, not that much compared to some but I'm happy with that.

This time last year I hadn't considered the band, not sure what I weighed but I guess that it was somewhere around 18 stone (252 lbs) I am sure that I was really unhappy as I'd gained the 40 pounds I'd lost a few months before, I felt like I was letting myself and my children down, this year I feel so much better.

Today has been a good day so far, Paul took the kids to the zoo this morning which meant that I could finish wrapping presents whilst I watched the end of season 6 of Grey's Anatomy, OH MY GOODNESS! McDreamy! I cried through most of it. Season 7 starts in the UK in January and I can't wait.

Paul and the kids came back and we made popcorn and watching The Snowman, it was lovely.

I've just found a new protein bar, we don't seem to have many things like that available here, I found one aimed at woman, called sculptress bars, it's 205 cals and 20g of protein which is great, I had one whilst wrapping and it was ok.

Scale today is sticking at 14st 11 (207 lbs) I'm really happy with that, would always like to loose more but that's fine.

Hope that everyone that celebrates has a very happy Christmas and people that don't have a wonderful day.

Christmas eve eve

Thank you for all your kind wishes for Izzy's birthday yesterday, this is her blowing out her candles, I love seeing the smoke on the picture. Her cupcake is pathetic but I will do her a big cake for her birthday party in January. She had a lovely day with her "best" friend and her family and my Mum. She got a couple of furreal animals, she had the cat anyway and has never been that bothered but got a dog and a monkey. They are quite weird, George is now obsessed with the monkey which is causing huge problems. I might go out and see if I can buy George a furreal animal for Christmas, gah, children!

I have to confess to not being great at the party, there were tiny pastries and lovely savoury things aswell as marshmallows, I say this like I didn't know! I bought the stuff!

I ate far too much, by some miracle I've not gained anything, perhaps it will show tomorrow, I'm going to be a good girl today. Weight is 14st 11lbs (207 lbs) Paul has just popped out for something, as soon as he is back I'm going to the gym.

Can't believe that its almost Christmas, I need to wrap a few presents as well as go and fetch George a furreal freaky thing, but other than that I am DONE!

Have a marvellous day all xxx

Good morning all

Today is my baby girls 6th birthday, this time 6 years ago I was under general anesthetic having a c-section. They couldn't get the spinal to work as I had so much back fat, awful, why did I let myself get that way? She was 10 days early and weighed 10lb 3.5 oz.

We've had some challenges with her along the way and I know that I have a moan here but I love her more than life itself and have noticed lately that she is growing in to a really nice little girl with very good manners.

We went for dinner with Santa last night, the kids ate and then had ginger bread men to ice and decorate and then finally Santa appeared, Isobel talked the poor man half to death, we just watched Elf and she wanted to know all about Santa's Elves. There was a sticky moment when Santa left George's present on the slay but luckily he went back and found it!

Band wise, I had a really sensible day yesterday and happily the scale said 14st 11lbs (207 lbs) today. We're having a birthday tea today and so there will be lots of bad food, I'm going to do my very best to be good.

Have a lovely day all,

My husband spent the night in a hotel with another woman.

My 5yr old daughter!

Sorry couldn't resist.

Well, they got to the party, had a fabulous time, the best party ever apparently. Paul was in two minds about going as he was concerned that they would struggle to get back so we decided that if they managed to get on the train, I'd book them a hotel. I booked a 4 star hotel just off Leicester Square, after the party the walked up and down Regent street looking at the lights and Isobel was thrilled. I can't help but think that I should have been me!

I'd planned to spend the evening finishing off my Grey's Anatomy series 6 box set (oh, Mcdreamy!) but instead my aunt called and stayed on the line most of the evening!

Thank you for all your lovely comments yesterday, I was very miserable, feel much better today.

Has anyone heard of the Portable North Pole site? http://www.portablenorthpole.tv I did my children fantastic Santa video's on here, Izzy thought that it was magical, you can do adult ones too, its really lovely.

Band wise, I did better yesterday, was trying be more aware of what I was eating and ended up throwing away some cookies, the scale showed 14st 12 (208 lbs) today, I'd love to be another pound down for Christmas day.

Still so cold here, I had to really force myself to get in the shower this morning!

Have a wonderful Tuesday all x

moan moan moan snow moan

Horrible moany blog post, probably best ignored!

I hate the snow, hate it. All our plans are getting cancelled and I'm stuck home with 2 kids and a husband who are seriously getting on my nerves.

Izzy is meant to go to Paul's company kids Christmas party today in London, Paul has dug the car out and gone off to see how the roads are, he left 90 minutes ago and is about 3 miles away stuck in traffic, the whole town is grid locked, its looking like they won't be able to go to the party.

The kids are waking really stupidly early, before 6am today, Paul can sleep through it, I can't so I'm not getting enough sleep and nor are they so the fight, constantly.

I've also just noticed that Isobel doesn't sit still, ever, she's watching tv in the room with me now and is just jumping up and down, its really annoying.

I've done lots of ironing and changing the bed today, everyone else seems to be doing their best to undo all the housework I've done. George (I think) has managed to get a mystery substance (actually I'm pretty sure I know what it is but its best not to share) on every stair, we have a sissel type carpet with a very deep weave, I have no idea how I'm going to get it off, Paul was going to do it but I know that I will end up doing it.

I'm really very miserable!

The scale was ok, 14st 13lbs (209) again, I wasn't too bad yesterday but still not doing as well as I ought, the cookies are killing me! Been ok so far today but its not even 1pm yet! Seems to be late afternoon/evening when I go mad.

I just googled and apparently 1 hours ironing burns 156 calories based on a person weighing 150 lbs, I did about 2 hours and weigh more than 150! I can't see how its true but this will be classed as my exercise for today!

Going to go and stare at my stairs! Have a good monday!

Well, it caught up with me.

Scale said 14 13 (209 lbs) today, thoroughly deserved and should have been more, I know that I'm picking because I'm not planning very well, I am addressing that now.

Thanks for the food ideas yesterday, I'm going to get some recipes together and be a little more adventurous.

I had scallops yesterday, I really liked them, they were tiny ones as its all I could get yesterday, will look for larger ones when I next shop.

Izzy by the icy river this morning.

We have loads of snow today, started yesterday afternoon and just didn't let up, Izzy had a birthday party and Paul had real trouble getting the snow phobic car home. We were meant to meet up with friends and go for lunch to celebrate Isobel's birthday today but couldn't get the car out, we could have dug it out but the roads look awful so had to cancel. Izzy is very upset, she'd decided that she was having lasagne for lunch so I've made one for her, she has ice cream for dessert.

Our village has "carols on the quay" tonight which should be nice and Christmassy in the snow but I'm so over it, we have lots of little plans for Izzy's birthday this week, I really hope that it doesn't spoil it for her.

Happy Sunday everyone.

One week to go.

Can't believe that this time next week will be Christmas day! It seems to have come around so quickly this year. Are you all prepared? I think that I have everything that I need but I have to wrap lots of gifts still but they are all bought, just have to remember where I hid them all.

Thanks for all your comments and advice yesterday, Amanda, would love some recipes when you feel up to it. Island bandit mentioned scallops, I've never tried scallops, I know that they are high in protein, will give them a go, thank you. I will try and be more adventurous with fish, we are a bit limited here with things like refried beans, I guess that I might be able to find them but they're not widely available, will give it a go thanks.

As for advice on the kids, they're fighting at the moment! Nothing works! Problem is that Isobel is a very bossy 6 (on Wednesday) yr old with a very set idea on how every game should be played and George is 3 and has recently become very stroppy so its a recipe for disaster!

I'm eating toast for breakfast this morning, I'm almost half a slice down and its ok, feels a little stuck so will leave it for a while, I just had to have lf peanut butter on toast this morning, I only have a tiny bit of pb on, not because I have incredible restraint but because it was almost all gone.

I did eat lots of rubbish yesterday, not sure what came over me, but the scale said 14st 12 (208 lbs) again, I'm very happy that it hasn't gone up although I'm sure that it may catch up with me, I can't help but think that had I had a good day I would have had a nice loss to show for it.

I'm going to the gym today, first time since Tuesday, its freezing here at the moment, its -4 which is about 25f. I'm going to leave it until it warms up a little, it rained a lot yesterday so I think it will be icy.

Have a friend popping by later and have some very ripe bananas so I'll make a banana cake later, Isobel loves it too, I normally have some and pb it so I'm going to do my absolute best to not have any, wish me luck.

Have a lovely Saturday x

Day 3 of the holidays.

And I've had enough, I'm finding my kids hard work today, they seem to want to play together, manage about 2 minutes and start shouting at one another and then hitting each other, its horrible.

Of course, if I was a nice mother I would take them out, I need to go and book lunch with Santa soon so will let them have a little run around the park soon, its soooo cold though.

Had a friend come over last night armed with flapjacks and brownies, I love flapjacks, they're oats right? Practically a health food! I did indulge but not so much, the scale is 14st 12lb (208 lbs) again today and I'm ok with that, I was a little worried about standing on the scale today!

I am struggling with high protein meals a bit at the moment, I don't eat red meat and I'm not big on fish. Any ideas would be gratefully received.

One of my neighbours knocked at the door the other day and they want to look at the house, they are coming this evening. I've pretty much tidied everywhere but the kids are doing their best to wreck it! Although the house is still on the market, we have pretty much decided that we are staying put, we've had no viewers in 2 months! Goodness knows what will happen, chances are we'll hear no more from them, fingers crossed!

Hope that everyone is well, thinking of Amanda, you will feel better soon lovely, honest. Barbara is in my thoughts and prayers.

Wednesday morning, first day of the school holidays

and my daughter is awake and singing at 4.40am, 4.40am. Lovely way to start the day. I quietened her down and went back to sleep for a bit but not for very long, feel very tired today.

Tiredness is a eating trigger for me, although I may actually use that as an excuse, I'm not sure.

Scale was kind today, I am pretty much back on track and the scale read 14st 12lbs, (208 lbs) I really hope to loose more weight this month but my goal is to stay below 15st even with all the temptations that Christmas brings. Remind me I said this when I'm reporting any huge gains please!

I seem to have a little less restriction but still enough restriction, I think that this could be the fact that I'm not making ridiculous choices which make me pb which irritate the band rather than any kind of loosening, I'm ok with it. I'm going to attempt more solid proteins now, I've been a little scared to try chicken as in a piece of chicken so will see how that works.

Really looking forward to hearing from Amanda (http://lifeofahopefulloser.blogspot.com/) hope that the weather improves so that they can get home.

Have a wonderful day all!

100 followers!

Goodness me, can't believe that I'm subjecting 100 of you to my boring ramblings! Thank you Kellie!

Thanks for all your potty training advice, I've bought some dry bed mat things to go under the potty, thought that if I used a new one every day and disinfected the area once I'd thrown it away was better for my sanity.

*tmi*There may have been a development with number 2's! Paul looking after George this afternoon, apparently he took himself away in to the play room, did the business in his pants, took off the pants, picked up his "business" in a wipe and brought it through to Paul! I'm glad that it wasn't me. Paul decided that this was a step forward, I'm not so sure.

Scale said 15st 1lb today, 211 lbs. Its ok but would really like to get under 15 stone again soon.

Izzy's school has their carol concert today, all the school were there (goes from age 4 to 16) and it was really lovely, we wandered off in to town afterwards for a coffee and happened upon a coffee shop which had no coffee, bought Izzy a donut there which seems to have made her ill, I made my way home with an ill girl crying. She seems to be much better now and is screeching away upstairs.

She breaks up for Christmas tomorrow, tomorrow! She's off for almost a month, expect lots of moaning.

Thinking of Amanda lots today, not sure on the exact time where she is (I'm from a small Island, I don't get this more than one time zone in one country business!) think that she'll be getting banded soon.

Had a bad few days.

Not sure why I decided that eating lots of junk was the way forward but I did and I gained weight, this went on for 3 days and I've gained 4 pounds, pretty impressive, hu? I think that my scales are a bit dodgy so that may contribute a small amount but most of it was me and chocolate.

Today I weighed 15st 2lbs, (212 lbs) ridiculous, this time last week I was 14st 10lbs (206 lbs) although I think that the scale was being a bit over generous.

So back on track today, I've cancelled my unfill for Tuesday, I don't think that I need it and haven't been stuck for a few days. I can't see how I can possibly get to Onederland for Christmas or even new year.

But, I am going to be positive and keep on going.

Non band related, still having potty training nightmares, he completely gets it now and uses the potty really well although number 2's are a bit problem and he's not managed one in the potty/toilet yet. My problem now is that the urine ends up everywhere, even though I remind him to hold it down! I've cleaned and disinfected the floor 8 times today, 8 times, the skin is falling off my hands! It's worse if he's on the toilet, I never anticipated this problem.

Goodness me don't I live a dull life!

The love affair is over

Somehow I've gained another 2 pounds! The scale said 14st 13lbs again today, 209 lbs.

I don't think that I deserve this gain and think maybe I had one or two artificial lows and maybe a little water retention.

Or, it could be that I've been hitting the ice cream and the biscuits, I'm not managing to each much proper food so I've been eating too much rubbish.

So, as of today the affair is over, I passed Ben & Jerry's on special offer today and didn't buy any instead I bought a weight watchers dessert, yum!

Have also been concentrating on high protein foods and think that I've been able to eat a little more today, might have to reassess my unfill next week.

Have hardly stopped today and didn't manage to get to the gym, have so much to do and didn't get half of it done, going to catch up on your blogs, hope that everyone is well!

a pound up

I seem to have gained a pound overnight, I had some salty foods yesterday which are probably to blame, I'm fine about it.

Still quite tight, am trying to eat some soup now which is really hard going, its not uncomfortable as much as I just feel very full. I had 2 cheese triangles this morning and felt like I'd eaten a 4 course meal!

I've booked an unfill for next Tuesday the 14th, I had .7 put in at my last fill, I was thinking about having .5 removed. I'm really grateful to everyone for your advice, I'm not sure that I would have come to that conclusion alone! I'm a bit thick.

Really need to finish my Christmas shopping, don't have that much to do, but do need to order some pictures of the kids for the frames I've bought my Mum and Aunt for Christmas, I also need to buy gifts for Isobel's teachers, I've not been overly impressed with them so I'm not going too over the top.

Glad that everyone likes the Boden coat, I think I'll have the damson colour, I wear a lot of black and that should go. I love the houndstooth, Linda, really hope you get it!

Maybe I am a little too tight.

Lovely Barbara has given me food for thought, maybe I am a little too tight. As long as I'm ok with liquids I'm not too worried short term but I don't want to cause any damage.

I can't get to the hospital until the 21st of December anyway so I think that I will make an appointment for then, if I don't need it I'll cancel it but I I think that I could do with a little coming out, maybe just .3. I'll just see how it goes.

Barbara asked how we react in the UK to snow warnings, if I'm honest we panic! really really panic, we buy up all the milk and bread and everything we can get our hands on. Lots of this is fuelled by media, last week they said that the petrol tankers wouldn't be able to replenish the petrol stations so everyone went out and filled up lots of places run out! Its crazy!

I heard a story on the radio today saying that the London Evening Standard front page story last week saying that the toys won't get to the stores in time for Christmas and they'll run out, apparently paragraph 3 admitted that all Christmas stock had been delivered weeks ago so its complete nonsense, but generally we read it, we believe and we panic!

I had terrible cabin fever too, I didn't leave the house from Tuesday morning to Saturday afternoon, I can't tell you how fantastic it was to leave the house with only one child!

I am British and spent the good part of one day looking on the internet at 4wd vehicles, started with Fords and Nissans and before I knew it I was lusting after a Porche Cayenne! Complete over reaction to 4 snow days really!

I get the impression that most other countries deal with it much better than we do, what happens where you are?

I went to the gym today, it was ok, I wondered if I might not do too well as it was a week since I went but it was ok and it was very quiet. I have my reassessment next Thursday, I've lost 20 pounds since my last one!

I bought myself a new cardigan today, I'm not much of a coat person, much prefer to layer and I'm fat and I get hot even when it's cold. I've been looking at this cardigan for a while, tried it about 2 months ago in UK size 22, then about a month ago in UK size 20, went today and no 20's or 22's so I bought it in an 18, it looks ok, not too small although wool is quite stretchy. This is the first 18 i've bought!

I have decided on my goal garment! Does anyone else have a goal garment? I want a velvet coat from Boden, like this http://www.boden.co.uk/en-GB/Womens-Coats-Jackets/Coats/WE269/Womens-Washed-Velvet-Coat.html?NavGroupID=2 I figure that when I'm at "goal" I won't get so warm in a coat and I really want one of these.

I actually left the house!

It's nearly all gone, am so pleased but maybe a tiny bit sad too, its so pretty. This meant that I could take Isobel to her party and see some of the other mums, actually talking to people face to face who are not my immediate family was great. I also got to visit the supermarket! This is a chore for me most of the time but yesterday was an exciting adventure. Isobel was with me and insisted that we went to a more expensive supermarket, she's such a snob!

I really struggled with food yesterday, I wouldn't say that my band is too tight, I think that I keep aggravating it. I had wheatabix for breakfast which is very mushy so it was fine. I stole a couple of George's potty training jelly babies and then half an hour later I tried to have a boiled egg, managed most of one but then was really really sick, horrible and very sore. Had a tiny piece of cake at the party which was fine then came home and had nacho's and houmous, managed some but it was quite uncomfortable, then I managed a healthy portion of B&J's fairly nuts, that was fine! How have I never eaten this flavour before? It was great.

(Really mean mum bit) Izzy is allergic to peanuts and therefore she has to avoid all nuts, I generally don't give George nuts either just in case and Paul isn't much of a nut lover so its all for me!! Rumours that I bought a nut ice cream for this very reason are completely true!

So, I stood on the scale this morning and it said 14st 10lbs (actually 14 10 and 3/4's) but I generally ignore the bits at the end. That's 206 lbs, total loss of 47 pounds and 38 pounds to my goal.

I am a tiny bit worried about how quickly its falling off at the moment, if its just fat that's great but I don't want to damage my health.

Will be going back to the gym today, I was meant to have a reassessment last week but had to cancel due to weather, hopefully will rebook that for next week.

Hope that everyone has a lovely Sunday!

Escape is possibly possible.

We seem to have a thaw, yippee! Paul has fetched the car and its ok except a wonky wing mirror. I went out earlier to go to the Christmas farmers market in the village, managed about 10 steps and came home as the road and pavement is thick with ice, despite Paul telling me it was just wet, it isn't, its about 2 inches of ice and I didn't want to risk falling over.

I'm hoping that it will continue to thaw and I may be able to leave the house later ON MY OWN. I can hardly contain myself. I need to buy some slim fast, my band is so tight that I'm not able to eat that much and so I'm not getting much protein. We are really limited as to what protein drinks we can get hold of here and I've run out of the protein shakes I bought from my surgeon, I could buy more but they have a huge minimum order so I thought that slim fast should do the trick.

The scale was kind again today and I weighed in at 14st 11lbs, (207 lbs), only 8 to go to get to my Christmas onederland goal!

Snow filled hell hole, I mean wonderland!

We're still stuck in the snow hole, all 4 of us in one house, I can't begin to tell you how much I'm enjoying it, I'm really really really hoping for a thaw.

So Dad and Janis are not coming, Dad was coming from Bournemouth which is on the South coast (the English riviera allegedly) and Janis was flying from Glasgow, she is completely snowed in so its not happening, I'm really sad about it, I really like seeing them and the kids love Janis. Not sure that we'll get to see them before Christmas now.

I do have good news though, the scale told me I was 14st 12lbs (208 lbs) today! I've never ever got to this weight before, only when I climbed past it as a teen I guess. I've lost a total of 45 pounds and have 40 pounds to go until I get to my goal weight of 12 stone (168 lbs) I'm very very happy.

I am going to challenge myself to be in Onederland for Christmas, I have 9 lbs to go, and there is 3 weeks until Christmas so I need to loose 3 pounds a week, it's doable if I leave the junk alone, I'm hoping that this will inspire me to make good choices.

My poor car is still stuck goodness knows where on a hill, I worried that it will become a bit of a target and it will be a real state when I get it back. Paul was looking on the internet last night for 4wd cars, I was looking at Nissans and Fords, not Paul, he was looking at Mercedes, Porche's and BMW's, pre owned 4wd's in these makes aren't nearly as expensive as I would have guessed at, I guess that the running costs and insurance is the killer with them, fuel in the UK is ridiculous prices. Part of me quite fancies being the stereotypical private school mum, being very skinny in an enormous flash car, I could do that! But my sensible side says no.

Thank you Justawallflower for your kind offer, I do quite like the Ford Kuga (do you have them in the US?) but as we're in the UK we probably wouldn't be able to use your discount, you are lovely to offer.

Think that I'm going to read blogs and then do a little ebay shopping, UK size 2o is getting a bit big now, I'm going to look for some UK 18's!

Have a lovely day xx

Can someone turn the snow off now please?

We've had it with the snow now, I've never seen anything like it in this country before, maybe as a child up north but we're in the East. This is Izzy posing in the garden, we tried to build a snowman but its so cold that the snow is too dry, was very frustrating.

I looked out of the window at 6am and it was snowing, it hasn't stopped since then. Paul decided that Isobel would be fine to go to school, got about 3 miles away and had to abandon the car (my car) as he got stuck, they had to walk home, luckily a friend passed them half way and picked them up. I have spent the morning internet shopping for a 4 wheel drive vehicle, considering a Nissan Juke, doesn't someone in blogland have one? Would love to know what you think of it.

With regard to my band, I really need to learn that there are lots of things I can't eat, especially not banana cake which I made yesterday, why did I try to eat it at least 3 times which led to a being stuck and pb'ing. Why have I had some more today with the same result? Why don't I learn? I'm really tight and sore now, can't even face my soup for lunch, have had some houmous, was very nice too.

Scale was good, back down to 14st 13lbs, (209 lbs) would still love to see onederland for Christmas, better leave the cake alone then.

It's December!

How did that happen? I traditionally have a big panic about Christmas presents but I'm doing ok so far, just need to get a few bits and Isobel's birthday presents.

Isobel is off school today, our village roads are really icy and I wasn't going to take the risk. So far we've found a make your own doll set that Iz got for her birthday last year, we were going to do it together but she managed about 6 stitches and I did the rest, it looks ok, bit frankensteiny but she's very happy with it.

We have about 4 inches of snow and its snowing still, I love it if I don't have anywhere to go but I normally do. My Dad and his girlfriend, Janis are meant to be coming over for the weekend, Janis is flying on Friday, I'm worried that they won't be able to come which makes me really sad.

Scale still up a little, I ate fine yesterday but did miss the gym so its just one of those annoying bounces! fingers crossed for better tomorrow.

Ooh, (touching wood with fingers firmly crossed) George seems to be getting the hang of potty training, I've been pushing it for about a week and only in the house, its 1pm here, he's been in pants today since about 6am and we've not had one accident and he's been taking himself off to use the potty, think that we have a way to go but I'm really pleased with him, it costs me a jelly baby for every wee, we've not even approached doing number 2's on the potty yet, might need more luck for that!

Hope that everyone is well, I know that there are a few people struggling, you're all in my thoughts x

Happy St Andrews day

As I'm half Scottish I'm claiming St Andrews day, I've tried to tell Paul that I have to be waited on as its "my" day, he's not buying it though.

Scale showed a slight gain of 1/4 of a pound today which pushed me up to 15st again (210 lbs) total of 43 pounds lost, I'm ok with this, my band seemed to loosen up yesterday and I could eat more, I did feel a little better for it too.

I have a couple of questions that maybe ladies who have been banded longer than me can answer.

TMI, my periods are all over the place, missed a period and now have had it for almost 3 weeks, could this be in anyway band/weight loss related? I'm in no pain at all.

Secondly, my friend, N, was banded just over a week ago and she was telling me today that she feels like she can feel her band and she doesn't like the sensation at all, do you ever feel like you can feel your band?

If I'm very stressed I can sort of feel a heaviness, I'd like to try and reassure her if possible.

We're still getting lots of snow, the country has almost shut down, we've put our Christmas tree up, it seems very Christmassy!

Hope that everyone is well.

Just wanted to mention lovely Amanda at http://lifeofahopefulloser.blogspot.com/ she has just got her insurance approval and she is one of the nicest people I have "met" in blogland.

A picture of our garden taken in the dark!

A new milestone.

Morning all,

Snowy in England today, we don't normally have snow so early so its quite odd. Today is a school day which means I have to drive in it, I hate driving in snow, scares me silly. I have one of those cars which looks like it might be 4 wheel drive but isn't so skates around like a sports car in it!

Wish me luck!

The scale rewarded me with a 14st 13 lbs (209 lbs), this is huge for me, twice I have got to 15 stone but no lower and then went on to gain it all back. Onederland would be wonderful for Christmas, not sure that I will be able to make that.

Crying boy, will be back xx

Tighter than ever

After all those old posts complaining about no restriction I really can't be complaining of being too tight now, can I?

I wouldn't actually say that I'm too tight but I'm really tight, today all I have managed is 1 wheatabix with milk and some soup for lunch that I'm trying to finish now, I pb'd a little of it at lunch time too I've also had one protein shake with a banana in it, I may have another one shortly.

My hormones are all over the place (completely missed a period, finally had a long period, stopped for a day and now a whole new period) think that those egg's must have been stacking up! It's all very odd.

So I think that it might be hormonal, I also think that I'm fighting a cold which I know can often effect bands so maybe I've got a double dose.

I'm still weighing in at 15st 1, (211 lbs) as I have been eating some biscuits and chocolate but have pretty much lost my appetite for junk too so am hoping to see a lower number on the scale tomorrow.

Hope that everyone is having a wonderful weekend, I can't believe how close to Christmas we are now!

Happy thanksgiving!

Just wanted to wish all my friends who are celebrating a happy thanksgiving! Hope that you all have wonderful days.

Nothing much going on with me, still really tight which is pushing me towards junk foods a little too much, how come biscuits are ok? Have just tried and failed to eat some risotto.

The pine effect is finished, I am no good at sewing or any kind of craft and it shows! This is Isobel modeling it at about 6am this morning! Sorry about the pose, she had been leaping up and down to start with!

3 stones down!

Thanks for your comments on my blog yesterday, glad that I'm not the only hairy Mary around! I figure that it keeps me warmer when its cold!

I'm still tight and am down another pound today, maybe that is down to all the body hair I mowed yesterday! That puts me at 15st 1lb (211 lbs) and a big milestone of 3 stone lost!

I've managed to get to 15 stone twice but not under it, I can't wait for my weight to start 14 something!

So cold here today, I just washed the car and it just started raining. I never wash the car but it really needed doing, I hoovered the inside too and even took out the kids car seats (also found a library book I lost) I didn't do a great job but it looks better and surely it must count as exercise.

Have a lovely day all xx

Down a pound but so tight

Afternoon all,

Stepped on the scale this morning praying it still said 15st 3, to be rewarded with 15st 2 (212 lbs) very pleased and not surprised as I really struggled to eat anything yesterday, Paul made a gorgeous dinner of chicken tempura with rocket mayo, so lovely but came back up, I thought that I'd not chewed enough and tried again but sure enough, no go. I had a little ice cream and a shake.

This morning I had some musseli, went down okish, lots of chewing but ok, went to the gym, came home and had another shake. Just tried to eat dinner, roast chicken and all the trimmings and no go, managed a little chicken but that was it.

The kids have had colds and I wonder if I'm coming down with one too, I know that I've moaned about no restriction but this is no fun at all, I can drink fine though. Might just get some soup for tonight and try again tomorrow.

Am doing quite well with exercise, yesterday and today I went to the gym and then took the kids on a bike ride (they were riding and I was walking) was lovely and must have been about 2 miles. We're also taking the kids swimming later, not that I will be doing much swimming with them there. This means that I have to shave my legs! My poor husband, my legs are hairier than his!

Hope that everyone is having a wonderful weekend xx

The house hunt continues (boring none band related)

None band post!

We put our house on the market with another agent 2 weeks ago, so far nothing at ALL! No viewers, no one is interested, we dropped it by £20k too.

I've viewed the most beautiful and fantastic "forever" house today, here is a link if you're interested, no internal pictures though I'm afraid. http://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-17159712.html?backListLink=/property-for-sale/find.html%3FsearchType%3DSALE%26locationIdentifier%3DREGION%255E64186%26insId%3D1%26radius%3D0.0%26displayPropertyType%3D%26minBedrooms%3D%26maxBedrooms%3D%26minPrice%3D%26maxPrice%3D400000%26retirement%3D%26partBuyPartRent%3D%26maxDaysSinceAdded%3D%26_includeSSTC%3Don%26x%3D76%26y%3D13%26sortByPriceDescending%3D%26primaryDisplayPropertyType%3D%26secondaryDisplayPropertyType%3D%26oldDisplayPropertyType%3D%26oldPrimaryDisplayPropertyType%3D%26newHome%3D%26auction%3Dfalse&thumbnailId=1

It would need some work but it was habitable (well, it would be once it had a bathroom fitted, there are at least 4 toilets!) It is huge, would be at least 4 beds on first floor, there are 2 smaller rooms which would be en-suite and bathroom and 3 other bedrooms on the top floor, perhaps 2 if one was made in to a huge bathroom. It has pretty much all its period features, cornices, fireplaces, really high ceilings and the most beautiful stained glass windows.

Alas, it won't be ours, bids have to be in on the 3rd of December, we have no chance of selling our house, it makes me very sad.

Just wanted to vent, I'm being very zen outwardly but want to lay on the floor and throw a stiff bodied tantrum!

Alison's trip around the world.

Thanks so much for telling me about where you live, would love to find out more. I will be compiling a list of where I'm going and when you're to expect me!

Would love to find out more about New Zealand, Maree, I have a friend on the North Island.

Great scale news today, 15st 3lbs! (213 lbs) am thrilled, just 2 pounds to go until I've officially lost 3 stone, can't wait. I'm just off to the gym now to try and shed some more.

Have a great weekend all x

What is it like where you live?

I find the blogs I follow endlessly fascinating, not just the band and weight related but relationships, where you've been and what you bought, your work mates, what you've cooked and especially where you live.

I'm in England and therefore I'm fairly ignorant about the US and Australia (and lots of other places too!) Of course I know about the countries as a whole but I find the fact that the countries are so so big and the different states can be so so different. I read lovely lisa's blog post today (http://therestofmylifelisa.blogspot.com/) and found what she wrote about the area she lived in amazing, imagine living near Amish people and what the hell is shoo fly pie? and is it as horrible as it sounds?

So I thought that I'd ask about where you live, I envy people living in the cities but also in the countryside, some of the beautiful places you all live make me green!

Where I live

I'm originally from a town called Rotherham in South Yorkshire (very near Amanda's hubby) Its in the north of England, when I was 15 my family moved to Essex which is east of London. Paul and I moved to Rowhedge 6 years ago when I was pregnant with Isobel, we live in a modern 4 bedroom house.

Rowhedge is a nice place, it's quite small, most of the houses here are 100 years old plus. A fair amount of the people that live here have lived here for generations and a lot of them are related! We have a river running through the village which is tidal, it gets really busy in summer. We have a lovely church here, the congregation is often less than 10 people, since we have been attending a few of our church friends have passed away, such a shame. Paul is very good at getting involved, we have a regatta in the summer and Paul is normally one of the organisers.

This is the village websitehttp://www.rowhedger.co.uk/index.shtml there are lots of pictures, it's slightly out of date but worth a look if you're very very very bored!

Our village is in Colchester which is an early Roman settlement, we have a large army barracks based here and lots of lovely young yummy soldiers! This unfortunately means we have lots of bad news with the soldiers being injured or killed in Iraq/Afghanistan.

We're about an hours train ride in to London, I worked in London for years, in Canary Wharf in the east and Covent Garden in the centre, having worked there for so long I'm not that bothered about visiting that much, I normally have a good look around when I go for a fill. I think that its a great place to visit as a tourist but not so great as a commuter!

So, that's where I live, tell me all about your town!

The pine effect

Thanks for all your comments, as always, its so nice that someone is listening as my husband and kids don't!

I know what the pine effect is, it sounds like some deep study doesn't it!

Just to recap, Izzy needs green tights & green t shirt for her massive part in the school play (4 of the girls are tree's) Apparently, the pine effect that they are looking for is green tinsel around the neck and arms and bottom of the t-shirt, well of course it is silly me, pine tree's are trimmed with tinsel all the time!

Scale staying the same this morning, 15st 5lbs, (215 lbs) I was a little sad but then realised that this is ridiculous, I can't expect to loose a pound every day and I've lost 2 over the last couple of days. Would be very happy to see 15st 4 tomorrow though!

My ridiculous spending is carrying on unabated, just received my new Bailey button Ugg's, they are lovely and snuggly and warm, I just need to rough them up a bit to convince Paul that they are old ones!

I made a Thai prawn (shrimp) dish last night and served it with some noodles, I thought that I may struggle with the noodles but I also struggled with the prawns had 2 pb's, managed to eat a couple more prawns but it was a slow struggle but I was starving.

I'm managing to keep my snacking down a bit by having single serve chocolate bars (favourite is Cadburys flake at 135 cals) I seem to be able to accept that I only get 1, it's larger bars and bags that should last days that I need to finish in one sitting.

Hope everyone is having a happy Thursday xx

Back to my lowest low

Really hope that I don't have to write this sentence again, think that I've written it at least twice before.

Scale said 15st 5lbs (215 lbs) today, I'm very pleased, really need to keep it going down , my restriction is really good an I'm able to eat only half of what I could eat last week, unless its junk of course but I'm staying away from that.

Nothing much else happening, just chipped my nail varnish doing housework, further proof that it's not worth doing, it just brings sadness!

Isobel is playing a tree in her Christmas show (I'm rolling my eyes right now) apparently she is to wear green tights, green top with a pine effect! What the hell is a pine effect? Branch's? pine cones? Am going to talk to the school about the pine effect and will be searching the internet for green t shirts and tights! Wish me luck.

How can it only be Tuesday?

This week seems have been very long already, wish it was Friday.

Hope that everyone is well today, I've had a quiet morning, after driving kids to school which takes 90 minutes by the time I've dropped each of them off I went to the gym, had my eyebrows waxed, my nails painted (black by OPI, is lovely) went for a coffee and collected George again, I've not even changed out of my gym clothes yet!

Scale was good today 15st 6lbs, which is 216 pounds, I managed to control my intake of sweet stuff yesterday but it was hard going, not helped by the banana cake that I made to use up some over ripe bananas, I didn't have much, just a little. I made a lovely Thai chicken dish with rice last night, I had a little rice but it filled me up completely, its amazing how little it takes to fill me at the moment, if only this stopped my chocolate intake!

I'm addicted to Words with friends on iphone/itouch just at the moment, it's like Scrabble, I'm not that good at it though, if anyone play's feel free to challenge me, my user name is allicenn.

Just heard that Prince William is engaged, I'm not much of a royalist but Kate has waited a long time! Made me think about the street parties we had when Prince Charles and Princess Diana got married, wonder if that will happen? Good luck to them.

Have a lovely day xx

Lest we forget

Remembrance day here in the UK today, we observed the silence but managed to miss the service at the war memorial, I feel awful, just assumed it would be at 11am and it wasn't.

I think that I'm starting to get it!

Get that I can't just eat crap. I seem to have slid in to bad habits in the last couple of months, hence the lack of movement on the scale. I've been eating ok and then having junk, mainly chocolate and not just a little bit.

So, I really need to start again, again. It's quite depressing really but need's must.

I went out to dinner with my friend Alyson, her partner Claire and a friend of theirs who's I've met a few times called Lou, she's very nice but has an awful lot to say! It was a nice night at a really nice place. I was hyper alert about what I could eat, they wanted starters so I ordered the soup, for main I ordered a starter prawn salad but did have a dessert, it was really nice to come away feeling satisfied rather than uncomfortable.

Scale is 15st 8 today, 218 pounds. I really need to start a new regime today, we're going to my Mothers for lunch, she doesn't know about my band, wish me well!

I'm off to the gym this morning too, really need to be below 210 soon!

Things I have learnt today

I can not eat pastry, trying to eat a mince pie whilst at a packed "shopping evening" was a huge mistake!

So, I bought a chicken and mushroom pie at a farmers market this morning, thought that I would have a small amount with some cauliflower for dinner, one bite of pie, stuck, very sick.

Then went to shopping evening, had a mince pie, awful again and again and again. I'm not sure that I ever normally eat pastry, it just didn't work at all.

Did get some things at the shopping evening, I bought Paul an indoor composting caddy, sounds boring and indeed is boring but he will be thrilled. It's from Jamie Oliver's range and is quite tasteful and will look nice in the kitchen.

I bought Izzy a hand made cushion that has "love" embroidered on it, she has a fluffy heart cushion on her bed which she sleeps on every night, we bought it a few months ago and I told her it was a hug from me and she loves it, I thought that she'd like the cushion too. I bought my friend Sarah's daughter Emily a pandora bracelet and some beads and a whoopie pie cake thing, have never tried them before, was ok, not great. Was able to eat it which was good!!

My homage arrived

My beautiful (homage to) LV Stephen Sprouse scarf arrived yesterday, it's stunning and I'm very pleased with it, I may even have to photograph myself in it to show you all.

Not much else happening, George and I are at home not doing much after spending the morning with friends.

I'm back on solid food from today, have had some chicken for lunch, didn't manage it all and have hic-ups now so think that I had a little too much, I don't feel full as such, just a bit uncomfortable.

Scale was good today, 15st 7, 217 lbs, been here before but better than the last few days, 2 pounds above my lowest.

Does anyone have anything nice planned for the weekend? I'm going out with Sarah this evening to a shopping evening, not quite sure how it will be but I'm booked to have a manicure there, I forgot about this about did my nails last night, I am sporting a very dark blue at the moment, I like it. Tomorrow night I'm going out for dinner with some lovely friends and on Sunday we're going to my mothers for lunch, I also need to fit in 2 gym sessions and going to the unveiling of the local department store Christmas window, not sure if I'll manage it.

Am really enjoying an old US Biggest Looser, think its couples series 7, it has Tara and Ron in it, I'm fairly near the end, I don't know who wins. I'm not sure that what they do is sustainable at home but it makes interesting viewing, I would want Bob as my trainer if I were there, Gillian is terrifying although looks like she's about 3 foot tall!

Hope that everyone is well xx

Had my fill

Trundled off to London yesterday, fought my way down Oxford St in the pouring rain and howling wind and bought nothing! I wanted a few new tops to go with my jeggings and jodpurs I've bought recently but found nothing. I was quite naughty and ordered a Stephen Sprouse LV scarf so am building my wardrobe around it, not that I have it yet. It's not an original, they cost a fortune but it was really quite expensive and is allegedly a very good copy or homage as I prefer to call it! lets just see.

I did buy some make up and nail polish and a few Christmas presents.

Fill went really well, now have 8cc's in my 14cc band and I'm on liquids, I think that it will be quite tight, I feel like I can feel it although it doesn't hurt. The nurse that I normally see wasn't there and I saw the original nurse who's i'd spoken to before, the newer nurse always takes a while to find my port but not yesterday straight in.

In all I lost 8 pounds since my last fill, this was in August so not fab but in the right direction at least.

Found out last night that my sister starts IVF treatment in 2 weeks, am really happy for her, just really really hope that it works.

Scale said 15st 8lb's this morning, 218 lbs. I'm happy with that but can't wait to see it go down below 210.

Have a good day all xx

haven't blogged for a week, that can only mean one thing

Morning all,

It can only mean that I've not had a great week, I'm 15st 9 today which is 219 lbs, so not huge weight gain but still no loss.

Good news is that I'm going for a fill today which means I have to go to London and have to do lots of shopping as I don't get there very often so I'm hitting Oxford St, Regent St then Marylebone High St.

I have been doing some blog reading, my laptop is being very highly strung lately so it makes things harder and I've developed a addiction to Angry Birds which is taking up far too much time!

In other news, house is back on the market with another agent, fingers crossed, this means I have to do lots of cleaning - boo!

We had Isobel's parents evening last week, you can only imagine how that went, she's wonderful and awful in every breath! They decided to start a good behaviour book on friday, they didn't tell me, I'm not happy but I'll live with it, it came home on friday with positive news, it didn't come home at all yesterday, I can only imagine that they can't be bothered! What kind of example does that give to a 5 year old? She knew that she'd not had it back.

Anyway, shopping for me. I know that as I'm ready for a big shop I will buy nothing, that's always the way isn't it?

Thanks for asking after me Amanda, sorry for being so rubbish!

Thanks for all of your comments, so nice to have people to moan at!

Had a good day yesterday and the scale rewarded me by going down by 2 pounds, I'm still 3 over my lowest but its better than 5. Have been to the gym today but really need to up my exercise, am going to try and do more walking, I spend so much time in the car driving the kids around that I hardly seem to walk anywhere, am hoping to take George to the zoo tomorrow which is a good walk and hopefully get to the gym, on Thursday when George is at nursery I intend to walk in to the centre of town, (my gym doesn't allow more than 2 visits in a row)

I think that I do need a fill and have one booked for next Tuesday, I don't think that I need much just a tweek.

Potty training a disaster, George managed to do a huge wee whilst sitting by me on the sofa last night, didn't realise until it hit me! I can't help but think that he's not ready as we had lots of accidents yesterday, may have to leave it for a while. He's sat cuddled up to me now whispering that he loves me, he's the sweetest boy!

Just had a big bowl of risotto for lunch and am still hungry, I really do need a fill!

Hope that everyone is well, sorry for more moaning!

Had a rotten weekend.

Hello,

Have been feeling really down for the last couple of days, tired miserable and fed up and being a horrible Mummy to my children. I missed a lot of sleep when I was away and didn't sleep too well when I got back, my husband has been in "sick man" mode and so instead of taking up the reigns with the children he's been feeling very sorry for himself and this has added to my irritation. So I've been a horrible wife too.

Have been eating rubbish and am up to 15st 10 lbs (220 lbs), am really pissed off with myself.

Had a bit of time to myself yesterday when Paul took the kids out for a while and I slept better last night so feel a little bit more like myself.

Lovely Amanda suggested looking at doing a liquid diet for a while, I think that this is a good idea but I'm not sure that I'm up to it yet.

So far today I've eaten (2pm here)

protein shake

milk in coffee

2 rashers of turkey bacon

1 egg

350 cal's so far

Am making home made stock at the moment for a chicken risotto tonight, last time I made this I wasn't able to eat very much so hopefully it will come to less than 400 cals.

George is potty training again today, he's been in pants for almost 2 hours and had only one accident, he has a sweet for every use of the potty and has been very keenly using it! Only hitch is that I have to go and collect Isobel later and this is an hours round trip, I'm going to have to use a nappy but thought that I would put it over his pants, I used to do this with Isobel. Please cross your fingers that we might crack it this time!

I've been selling a few bits on ebay recently, trying to make money for Christmas and declutter the house, its gone ok but I am addicted to checking how my sales are doing about 50 times a day! I'm trying to stop myself blowing all my ebay money on clothes for me!

A quick funny from my daughter, Saturday morning I said that I didn't understand why she was behaving so badly, Isobel (5) said "I'm at a difficult age!" Cheeky monkey, I managed not to laugh but it did stop me in my tracks!

Happy to be home!

Hello lovelies!

The kids and I got back from the Cotswolds last night, I am so happy to be home. It's so stressful being in someone else's home with the kids. They were pretty well behaved most of the time but there is no place like home!

My band felt really tight when I was away, I thought that it was probably down to having to eat what someone else had chosen knowing nothing about my band, I ended up not eating much but making some bad choices, the scale says 15st 7lbs today, 217 lbs, it's like groundhog day!

I remember my friend, Sarah saying about a month ago that I could be under 15 stone but Christmas and thinking (and blogging) that I'd like to be there by the end of October! Not likely unless I catch an awful bug or chop off my arm!

My period never came, I feel fine, I'm not pregnant, I have no idea what is going on, it's very odd.

Just going to catch up on more blogs, caught a couple yesterday, missed reading all about your lives!

Good morning

Hope that everyone is well. Nothing much happening with me, kids are on half term and we're off to the Cotswolds tomorrow to spend time with my aunt.

I'm looking forward to it but there is so much to do and a long drive with 2 kids and just me in the car (Paul has to work)

I've not been doing so well, I'm so tired and I'm not loosing, I'm sort of happy to stay where I am until I get back, would prefer to loose but don't want to be worrying about it whilst I'm away, we should be fairly active for most of the week.

We have a halloween party to go to this afternoon, one of Izzy's class mates is throwing it at a hall, seems like an odd thing to do bearing in mind that there are 19 girls in the class and each one has a birthday party and invites everyone else, that's 20 parties including this one! Too many if you ask me. Anyway, I bought the kids new masks yesterday, this is them modelling them!

I put it on facebook and my friend mention how like me they are! Horrid friend!

Great nsv

Afternoon all,

Scale shocked me with a 2 pound loss this morning, still 2 above my lowest but ok, now weight 15st 7, (217 lbs) how many times have I been here before??

I was better but still not great yesterday, I did drink a fair bit of water which I think must have really helped. I made a great chicken risotto for dinner last night, served myself a medium portion and could only eat half which was great, am warming it for lunch now. I still ate a lot of chocolate though.

The loss has given me a bit of a boost and so far things have been ok today, still no period, 11 days late! No period pains or feeling tearful or extra tightness at all, tis very odd.

The NSV, a mum at Izzy's school came up to me this morning and said "you're looking so slim" this is untrue, I weigh over 15 stone! But was nice to hear anyway.

Wishing everyone a lovely day x

Not doing great at the moment.

Having a bad few days and eating too much rubbish. I have no idea why, I know that I need a fill but seem to have lost most of my restriction. I'm not feeling great and have been fighting off something all week, I'm really tired and when I'm tired I just want sugar.

It's all excuses of course, I know better and need to do better, I have made an effort and booked a fill, only time I can get there is the 9th of November which isn't great but better than nothing.

My period is really late and I have no idea why, I am not pregnant, no way at all. I am normally very regular, its very odd, I'm not really worried. I wonder if all last week's stress plus being a bit under the weather is the cause.

I'm 4 pounds up which is rubbish, I missed the gym yesterday too. I'm a bad bandster!

Normal service will be resumed very soon. Off to catch up with everyone else. I miss you all xx

A new lowest lowest low

The scale said 15st 5lbs today!! (215 lbs) at last, I stood on an hour or so later and had gained a pound and yet not eaten or drank anything so I'm pretending that I never saw that! Am very pleased, I really do need a fill, I can eat bread and even a few fries in Mcdonalds last night (special treat for Isobel after karate)

Thanks for your lovely comments about the school thing, I'm going to try and not mention it again as quite frankly its really boring!!

Had a terrible nights sleep last night, George has a cold and I've been up with him lots of times in the last 3 nights, he will not take any medicine and its so frustrating. He's fine during the day though which is annoying! Paul has taken him football training today, he started last week and didn't leave Paul's side, he seemed keen to go so maybe today will be better. This afternoon I am having my hair done, can't wait, far too much grey! Tomorrow we will do something as a family, maybe the zoo again, Izzy loves the bears that have just arrived at the zoo.

Hope that everyone has a wonderful weekend x

I didn't cry!

Thank you to lovely Nikki p and lovely Amanda, your vibes actually worked, I didn't cry and the meeting went really really well.

As far as we knew the meeting was with the head of the lower school when we arrived the overall head of the school was there too.

I was expecting an difficult meeting, I started by explaining the discrepancy with the 2 teachers, it was agreed that that was unacceptable. Great, it was.

I mentioned how Isobel being assessed was mentioned and why was she the only one needing assessment? They responded by saying that Isobel is super bright and they need to assess her for that reason so that they can see how best they can help her develop.

They said that her behaviour is much improved and that she is understanding that her behaviour has consequences.

So actually everything was extremely positive and I'm very very surprised as I was expecting it to be very hard. At the moment we are going to go ahead with the assessment at some point and we are not moving her from the school.

I'm so pleased that its over, thanks so much for all your support over this, don't know what I would do if I didn't have my blog to moan on about it all!

I'm left wondering 2 things, am I the kind of person who completely over reacts? and Will this all come crashing down next week when she does something despicable?

Gah, stayed the same

Still 15st 6lbs! (216 lbs) Although I have been this weight before I think that I only saw it on one day and then bounced up so this is kind of an achievement. It's been 3 days, I've been eating ok but did miss my gym visit yesterday.

We have the school meeting in a couple of hours, I'm dreading it, my husband appears to be back tracking on what he want's to say. My period is due any moment and I have pms, pms for me is me feeling miserable and grumpy and very tearful. I just know that I will cry at the school and look like a complete tit. We have to take George with us too as there is no one to look after him, he's not 100% so not sure how that will be. Please send me "the meeting will go great" vibes.

I think that I've decided in my head to leave it another half term and make a decision during the Christmas holidays, I just don't know what to do for the best.

Hope that everyone is well, I'll report back later.

School visit

Hello all,

Scale the same today 15st 6lbs (216 lbs) that's ok, I would love to see 215 lbs tomorrow though.

Contacted a school for Izzy yesterday and went for a tour and chat with the head teacher today, George is starting at the nursery attached to the school in January so it would make my life easier for Isobel to go here. Its co-ed, the current year 1 classes each have 10 kids in, 6 boys/4 girls each which I think would be perfect for her, smaller with a mix of sexes. It didn't blow me away but then her current school didn't blow me away when I saw it either. The classes could go up to a maximum of 20, I think that this is unlikely.

The head was nice and understanding and said that they'd love to have her there. They suggested that she attends for the day to see how she feels about the school, I think that that is a great idea.

We have the meeting with her current school tomorrow, I'm dreading it, a part of me feels that I'm at fault.

Isobel woke in the night with a nightmare, she kept saying that her dream catcher didn't work, I think that she thought that the dream catcher got rid of bad dreams. She wouldn't tell me what happened in it and took ages and ages to settle. I've told her that I'm looking at other schools for her and I wonder if that is the reason why, I feel like I'm doing everything wrong!

Its a horrible rainy day here today, hope that its nicer where you are!

Back to my lowest low

Morning all,

Weighed in at 15st 6 (216 lbs) this morning, this is my lowest and I've been here at least 3 times, normally just for one day before bouncing up again. I'm determined that I'll be lower tomorrow or the next day or the day after that, I don't want to bounce upwards again.

Have just heard from a friend that she has booked to have a band next month, this is my friend N who I didn't hear from at all after I sent her a message on facebook saying that I've had a band, I worried about not hearing from her for ages and contacted her and everything was fine, seems that she didn't get my last e-mail and knew nothing of my band at all! I told her about my band last week and she said that she had been looking in to it.

I'm pleased for her, hope that she does well.

Am contacting school's for Isobel today, wish me luck!

Have a wonderful Wednesday x

Best followers ever.

You lot are! Thanks so much for your comments yesterday, it means so much to me.

I will meet with the headteacher and try and see what is going on. But I'm also going to start looking for other schools, we may have to wait for the start of the next school year (Sept 11) but if I have a plan in place I will feel better.

I do think that it is a nice school but I think that some schools suits some pupils better than others and I think that that must be the case here.

Isobel seems to understand a lot more now, I spoke to her about it calmly yesterday and she told me about an incident which happened yesterday, she knows that I'm upset and she knows that she needs to behave better, lets just see what happens.

Scale was good today, 15st 7lbs, (217 lbs) am really looking forward to getting under 15st, I would like to do it before my next fill, that's sometime in November, I've not booked it yet.

Hope that everyone else is well, I have an hour to read blogs before going on the school run!

School issues again!

Morning, firstly I'll apologise as I'm really really really angry and I don't think that this will make any sense at all and my u doesn't seem to want to work today so it might make even less sense!

My daughter, Isobel is 5 (6 in December) she's in year 1 at school, this is her second year. If you've been unfortunate to read my blog before I have covered this many times! Isobel goes to a private school, it costs over £6k a year plus extra's, its a girls school, this year her she has 2 teachers who job share, mrs B on mon/tues/weds and Mrs T on weds/thur/fri.

Since she has been in year one (about 5 weeks or so) things seem to have been better, I was called in a couple of weeks ago by Mrs B to talk about Isobel being in trouble, she and 5 other girls were sent to the head teacher. She kept bursting in to song in class and not doing as she was told, she's fine on a one to one basis but not whilst working in a group apparently.

This isn't really a shock to me, she is a challenging child, she's very bright and is very loving and sweet but she can be a horror when the mood takes her. There are 19 in her class and 6 or 7 of them can be a real handful too, it's a hard class to teach I should think.

I spoke to Mrs T on Friday morning and just asked generally how she was doing, Mrs T told me she was doing ok, she has her moments but on the whole pretty good and by no means the worst behaved.

This morning Mrs B pulled me in and asked if we'd got anywhere with having her assessed (the school suggested that she was assessed by a educational psychologist about 5 months ago, this was during a meeting with Paul, I was pissed off about it not least as they expected us to pay £500 for it, we contacted the suggested Psychologist and she wasn't available for a few months anyway) I had thought that this had all been forgotten about. So Mrs B went in to great detail about Isobel's bad behaviour, the singing, the calling out etc and followed every sentence she said by saying that she's not the only one. So perhaps if she's not the only one she might need to look at herself as the other teacher was really positive on Friday. I am absolutely raging about it, I spoke to Paul and have made an appointment to see the head teacher this week, I really really do think that the time has come to move her elsewhere, I don't know where though, she's so happy where she is but its getting ridiculous now, its been going on the whole time that she's been there.
I don't know what they are trying to say, are they saying that there is something wrong with her? I really can't take much more from them.

I just feel desperate and angry, really angry.

I'm now typing one handed as George has come for a hug!

Scale said 15st 8lb's (218 lbs) today, I was out on Saturday so am ok with it really, would like to be a new weight soon, am bored with being around here.

Sorry for the massive moan.

boring, boring, Johnny Depp!

Morning,

Not very much happening with me, doing ok, back down to 15st 7lbs (217 lbs) 1 pound over my lowest, not had much of a loss for a while but think that I need a fill. I'm waiting as I'm away with the kids at my aunts in a couple of weeks and I think I'm very near my sweet spot and I don't want to be getting stuck there (she doesn't know about my band)

I'm going out tonight for Chinese food, I'm looking forward to it but will be sticking with chicken dishes, I can't handle rice or noodles very well. Although I just ate 2 thin slices of toast for breakfast, I had to be careful but it was ok so I may be able to have a little.

I love Johnny Depp, doesn't everyone? I just read this on the internet (he's filming pirates in London at the moment) http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1318516/Johnny-Depps-surprise-visit-London-primary-school-Captain-Jack-Sparrow.html

What a fantastic guy? I think that I love him even more now!

I'm sorry that I had to link to that particular paper, its a horrible miserable publication commonly known as the Daily Hate! But that article is good and has pictures.

Hope that everyone is well, I'm just trying to get the energy to load up my bag and take George to the zoo, I would prefer to surf the internet all day!

Have a lovely Friday x

More bouncing

Haven't blogged since Friday, really nothing has happened in that time!

My scale is all over the place, up to 15st 8lbs today (218 lbs) not sure why but think it must be hormonal, I'm sure that I did the same last month, the problem is that after a couple of days of the scale going up for no reason I think that I may as well eat whatever I please and then I legitimately gain weight, I'm like a hamster on a wheel! Anyway, am back on track now, it will come down, I wonder how many times there will be an entry in my blog just like this one? Same time next month everyone!

Life is the same as normal, kids ok, had a viewing of the house on Sunday, no good apparently, think that we will take it off the market quite soon, I can't stand the uncertainty of it all. I did some serious decluttering and get rid of lots of stuff so I'm happy about that.

It seems to have suddenly hit me that Christmas is on its way, which means Isobel's birthday is on its way too and as well as Christmas I have a party to organise and even worse, pay for. Her birthday is the 22nd of December but I normally have her party in January, we're so busy around her birthday/Christmas and its something nice to look forward too in bleak January.

Hope that everyone is ok, just off to read what everyone has been doing.

Bouncy Friday

That title sounds much more exciting than this entry will be!

Scale said 15st 6lbs (216 lbs) yesterday so back to my lowest, very happy, feel everything is going well. Today the scale said 15st 7lbs (217) no idea why, just an unexplainable bounce. Really hoping to get lower in the next couple of days.

I'm planning an autumn clean of my house, its not great at the moment and we are trying to sell it, my main problem is clutter, we just have so much stuff. I just cleared out a storage cupboard, its pretty small, goes under the stairs and I managed to get 3 large bin bags of stuff out of it to throw away, at least a bin bag of carrier bags??? and another bin bag to sell when I get around to doing another sale. And yet its pretty full although neater when I've put the stuff back in!

The kids have a play room which is stuffed with stuff, we have a large toy box which I moved on top of a drawer when we had George's party, it's full but no one has requested any of the stuff out of it so my next job will be getting rid of some of the junk in there.

We have a busy weekend coming up, Saturday we're looking at a school for George, I'm also looking to see if its suitable for Isobel, would love to get away from the horrible Mums but I'm sure that they won't be that different here.

Have another viewing on the house on Sunday, it all seems pointless, we must have had maybe 7 viewings in the last 10 weeks and no one has shown even a tiny hint of interest. Paul is all for taking it off the market and staying put, I know that he will be searching the internet for other houses and we will be trying to sell again in a few months.

So lots of cleaning and sorting and tidying and throwing stuff away, no one can say that I don't know how to live!

Hope that all my lovely blogging friends are well, Ryder cup started this morning, Mrs C! I can't work out why they would do it in deepest Wales in October, the weather will be atrocious!