I think that I'm starting to get it!

Get that I can't just eat crap. I seem to have slid in to bad habits in the last couple of months, hence the lack of movement on the scale. I've been eating ok and then having junk, mainly chocolate and not just a little bit.

So, I really need to start again, again. It's quite depressing really but need's must.

I went out to dinner with my friend Alyson, her partner Claire and a friend of theirs who's I've met a few times called Lou, she's very nice but has an awful lot to say! It was a nice night at a really nice place. I was hyper alert about what I could eat, they wanted starters so I ordered the soup, for main I ordered a starter prawn salad but did have a dessert, it was really nice to come away feeling satisfied rather than uncomfortable.

Scale is 15st 8 today, 218 pounds. I really need to start a new regime today, we're going to my Mothers for lunch, she doesn't know about my band, wish me well!

I'm off to the gym this morning too, really need to be below 210 soon!

Things I have learnt today

I can not eat pastry, trying to eat a mince pie whilst at a packed "shopping evening" was a huge mistake!

So, I bought a chicken and mushroom pie at a farmers market this morning, thought that I would have a small amount with some cauliflower for dinner, one bite of pie, stuck, very sick.

Then went to shopping evening, had a mince pie, awful again and again and again. I'm not sure that I ever normally eat pastry, it just didn't work at all.

Did get some things at the shopping evening, I bought Paul an indoor composting caddy, sounds boring and indeed is boring but he will be thrilled. It's from Jamie Oliver's range and is quite tasteful and will look nice in the kitchen.

I bought Izzy a hand made cushion that has "love" embroidered on it, she has a fluffy heart cushion on her bed which she sleeps on every night, we bought it a few months ago and I told her it was a hug from me and she loves it, I thought that she'd like the cushion too. I bought my friend Sarah's daughter Emily a pandora bracelet and some beads and a whoopie pie cake thing, have never tried them before, was ok, not great. Was able to eat it which was good!!

My homage arrived

My beautiful (homage to) LV Stephen Sprouse scarf arrived yesterday, it's stunning and I'm very pleased with it, I may even have to photograph myself in it to show you all.

Not much else happening, George and I are at home not doing much after spending the morning with friends.

I'm back on solid food from today, have had some chicken for lunch, didn't manage it all and have hic-ups now so think that I had a little too much, I don't feel full as such, just a bit uncomfortable.

Scale was good today, 15st 7, 217 lbs, been here before but better than the last few days, 2 pounds above my lowest.

Does anyone have anything nice planned for the weekend? I'm going out with Sarah this evening to a shopping evening, not quite sure how it will be but I'm booked to have a manicure there, I forgot about this about did my nails last night, I am sporting a very dark blue at the moment, I like it. Tomorrow night I'm going out for dinner with some lovely friends and on Sunday we're going to my mothers for lunch, I also need to fit in 2 gym sessions and going to the unveiling of the local department store Christmas window, not sure if I'll manage it.

Am really enjoying an old US Biggest Looser, think its couples series 7, it has Tara and Ron in it, I'm fairly near the end, I don't know who wins. I'm not sure that what they do is sustainable at home but it makes interesting viewing, I would want Bob as my trainer if I were there, Gillian is terrifying although looks like she's about 3 foot tall!

Hope that everyone is well xx

Had my fill

Trundled off to London yesterday, fought my way down Oxford St in the pouring rain and howling wind and bought nothing! I wanted a few new tops to go with my jeggings and jodpurs I've bought recently but found nothing. I was quite naughty and ordered a Stephen Sprouse LV scarf so am building my wardrobe around it, not that I have it yet. It's not an original, they cost a fortune but it was really quite expensive and is allegedly a very good copy or homage as I prefer to call it! lets just see.

I did buy some make up and nail polish and a few Christmas presents.

Fill went really well, now have 8cc's in my 14cc band and I'm on liquids, I think that it will be quite tight, I feel like I can feel it although it doesn't hurt. The nurse that I normally see wasn't there and I saw the original nurse who's i'd spoken to before, the newer nurse always takes a while to find my port but not yesterday straight in.

In all I lost 8 pounds since my last fill, this was in August so not fab but in the right direction at least.

Found out last night that my sister starts IVF treatment in 2 weeks, am really happy for her, just really really hope that it works.

Scale said 15st 8lb's this morning, 218 lbs. I'm happy with that but can't wait to see it go down below 210.

Have a good day all xx

haven't blogged for a week, that can only mean one thing

Morning all,

It can only mean that I've not had a great week, I'm 15st 9 today which is 219 lbs, so not huge weight gain but still no loss.

Good news is that I'm going for a fill today which means I have to go to London and have to do lots of shopping as I don't get there very often so I'm hitting Oxford St, Regent St then Marylebone High St.

I have been doing some blog reading, my laptop is being very highly strung lately so it makes things harder and I've developed a addiction to Angry Birds which is taking up far too much time!

In other news, house is back on the market with another agent, fingers crossed, this means I have to do lots of cleaning - boo!

We had Isobel's parents evening last week, you can only imagine how that went, she's wonderful and awful in every breath! They decided to start a good behaviour book on friday, they didn't tell me, I'm not happy but I'll live with it, it came home on friday with positive news, it didn't come home at all yesterday, I can only imagine that they can't be bothered! What kind of example does that give to a 5 year old? She knew that she'd not had it back.

Anyway, shopping for me. I know that as I'm ready for a big shop I will buy nothing, that's always the way isn't it?

Thanks for asking after me Amanda, sorry for being so rubbish!

Thanks for all of your comments, so nice to have people to moan at!

Had a good day yesterday and the scale rewarded me by going down by 2 pounds, I'm still 3 over my lowest but its better than 5. Have been to the gym today but really need to up my exercise, am going to try and do more walking, I spend so much time in the car driving the kids around that I hardly seem to walk anywhere, am hoping to take George to the zoo tomorrow which is a good walk and hopefully get to the gym, on Thursday when George is at nursery I intend to walk in to the centre of town, (my gym doesn't allow more than 2 visits in a row)

I think that I do need a fill and have one booked for next Tuesday, I don't think that I need much just a tweek.

Potty training a disaster, George managed to do a huge wee whilst sitting by me on the sofa last night, didn't realise until it hit me! I can't help but think that he's not ready as we had lots of accidents yesterday, may have to leave it for a while. He's sat cuddled up to me now whispering that he loves me, he's the sweetest boy!

Just had a big bowl of risotto for lunch and am still hungry, I really do need a fill!

Hope that everyone is well, sorry for more moaning!

Had a rotten weekend.

Hello,

Have been feeling really down for the last couple of days, tired miserable and fed up and being a horrible Mummy to my children. I missed a lot of sleep when I was away and didn't sleep too well when I got back, my husband has been in "sick man" mode and so instead of taking up the reigns with the children he's been feeling very sorry for himself and this has added to my irritation. So I've been a horrible wife too.

Have been eating rubbish and am up to 15st 10 lbs (220 lbs), am really pissed off with myself.

Had a bit of time to myself yesterday when Paul took the kids out for a while and I slept better last night so feel a little bit more like myself.

Lovely Amanda suggested looking at doing a liquid diet for a while, I think that this is a good idea but I'm not sure that I'm up to it yet.

So far today I've eaten (2pm here)

protein shake

milk in coffee

2 rashers of turkey bacon

1 egg

350 cal's so far

Am making home made stock at the moment for a chicken risotto tonight, last time I made this I wasn't able to eat very much so hopefully it will come to less than 400 cals.

George is potty training again today, he's been in pants for almost 2 hours and had only one accident, he has a sweet for every use of the potty and has been very keenly using it! Only hitch is that I have to go and collect Isobel later and this is an hours round trip, I'm going to have to use a nappy but thought that I would put it over his pants, I used to do this with Isobel. Please cross your fingers that we might crack it this time!

I've been selling a few bits on ebay recently, trying to make money for Christmas and declutter the house, its gone ok but I am addicted to checking how my sales are doing about 50 times a day! I'm trying to stop myself blowing all my ebay money on clothes for me!

A quick funny from my daughter, Saturday morning I said that I didn't understand why she was behaving so badly, Isobel (5) said "I'm at a difficult age!" Cheeky monkey, I managed not to laugh but it did stop me in my tracks!