Wednesday, 9 February 2011

Well, she's really gone and done it now.

I'm sorry for spouting on about issues with my daughter, I don't really have any other way of getting it out and I feel that if I don't write it down I will explode.

Was spoken to be her teacher after school today (in front of other parents) saying that she'd not had a good day, she refused to do the work, scribbled on the table and then CUT SOME ONE'S HAIR! Seems that she had been a pain all day. I am livid, angrier than I have ever been.

She was sent to her bedroom when we got in, she ate her dinner there and is now in bed, she has cried for 2 hours, she's cried for herself though, not for what she's done.
I am not blaming the school at all, Isobel is responsible for her own actions but the way that the teacher spoke it was no big deal, It's an enormous deal for me, I spoke to the parent of the girl and apologised, she was really nice about it but told me that Isobel has been pushing and spiting at the girl, SPITING!

I've told Isobel that she is doing nothing in future, no karate, no beavers, no school trips, no parties, no treats after school. Nothing at all. I've also told her that she is leaving that school, this is why she is most upset, I feel that now we have no choice, its been going on for far too long, from the minute she started in fact, I think that she's been allowed to get away with too much, she seems to think that she is in charge, I don't blame the school as such, its nice that they're kind and sweet with them but she needs more, she is a very challenging child, I just don't know what to do.

I'm also cancelling the bloody educational psychologist, Izzy would love 3 hours of one to one attention and I really don't think it would get us very far.

My plan is that I'm seeing the headteacher in the morning and telling her that enough is enough and she's leaving. The school where George will go has a place for her (at least the did a few months ago, I'm sure that they still do) so that is a possibility. I wouldn't mind trying a state school for a while (her current school is private and expensive) maybe just to give her a shock, I just don't know. Although, getting a state school place seems to be really complicated.

I feel so ashamed of her, I just can't believe the behavior I'm hearing about. I feel embarrassed, I would imagine that if she behaves like this a lot all the mothers are gossiping about us. Isobel has a behaviour book which more often than not has smiley face stickers in it meaning that she's had a good day, I don't think that I believe this anymore.

I really feel like this is my fault, we give her everything we can in terms of a good school, nice clothes, trips out and she deserves none of it.

No need to reply, I just don't know what to do. I'm so stressed that I had feel my band, feels like its clamped shut!


  1. I"m sorry for the rough day. I still think you should have her see the educational pscyhologist. My little boys qualified for the gifted and talented program at school and the orientation talked about the challenges of the gifted and that often when kids are gifted, they need additional support. They gave the examples of Robert Frost and Alexander Graham Bell. Apparently both had to be home schooled because they didn't fit in the conventional school system which didn't understand their gifts. While we can't all take our kids out of school, one thing which helped me was finding an activity in which they could assert their creativity and shine. For one son it was art...once he found this outlet, everything seemed to calm down. Parenting is a learning curve thing...I feel like I'm always learning and changing my approach...You are a good mom Alison...and you have a beautiful and gifted daughter...don't forget that. You will see this through.

  2. I'm sorry my Friend.. I wish I could take away all your sad feelings but I'm afraid I can't.. Just know that we're all here for you to talk to, vent at, or whatever you need..


  3. Vent away. I do agree with Rachel on keeping the appointment. There maybe some insight that might help it make more sence to you and your husband. She obviously knows how to push buttons. The frustration is normal so don't be to hard on yourself. Thinking of you and I wish I would help more.

  4. I agree with the others..keep the appointment. You are not taking her as a reward but as a way of figuring out if there is something going on with her. There might be something chemical beyond her emotional control.

    Have you thought about Attention deficit disorder or attention deficit and hyper-activity disorder? There are many different types of this condition and some of them are impulse related not just inability to focus. I had many students come through my classes who had different aspects of the condition. The condition was physical and medication helped all of them tremendously.

    These students were wonderful children but the bombardment of stimuli was just too much for them unless they had medication to help balance their brain chemicals. If your daughter is showing symptoms i would get it checked out so she can find success as soon as possible.

    I am a professional educator but have not met your you know the whole diagnosis over the phone caveat is important here...but definitely get her in with the psych and possibly your GP to see what they say.

  5. Just lending support. I agree to keep the appointment. There is obviously something going on with her that you aren't catching on to. Maybe this person can help fill in the gaps.