Do you ever feel like you don't really do anything? And that you don't really matter? I feel like that at the moment, don't get me wrong, I'm very lucky, I have a lovely husband and children.
I feel really really lonely, I have some friends but most aren't local and aren't in the same situation as me so I don't get to see them very much. Paul's family aren't local to us so we don't see them very much, my mother isn't far away but they don't seem very interested. I don't just feel lonely for me, I feel lonely for the kids and Paul, its always just us or if he's at work just me and the children. I think that the situation with the school Mums has kind of magnified things for me, I actively don't get involved with them and so am alone at pick ups and drop off's.
I have a good friend locally, we text back and forth most of the day and meet up when we can, she's really very busy but I know that if I needed anything she'd be there.
I've tried to make friends and I do know a few people but they're not real friends, George doesn't really enjoy groups and neither do I to be honest. He is quite happy at home, I feel like I'm holding him back, maybe I should take him to more places.
I ate loads of rubbish yesterday and seem to have gained another couple of pounds, I'm back on track today and I know that it will come off, I wonder if that has effected my mood?
Anyway, probably best ignoring this self pitying post, I'm sure I'll feel better tomorrow, wish me a good night, was up with George 3 times last night!! Probably another reason for feeling so sorry for myself!
Hope that everyone is well.